Feeling an Itch to Blog
POSTED ON: 2014年6月29日日曜日 @ 21:01 | 0 comments
I used to write a lot and now I hardly do anymore!
I want to say that this year is going by so quickly that it is almost overwhelming.
I heard that as you grow older time begins going faster..but I never noticed it until last summer.
Looking through old blogger posts, I realized that I haven't updated in 2014 except for one time! Isn't that crazy? I've had this blog since 2009...so many things have changed.
A lot has happened since the last time I updated, in fact.
- I got a job working at an optical company and I love it
- I've completed my Summer A class and did well!
- I started working on Saturdays, cleaning, as well
- I've <s>pretty much managed</s> to get over my ex-boyfriend
- I learned to drive stick comfortably (I really had to since my transportation is stick!)
- I empowered myself by going out for a drink alone in heels (and didn't need company)
Okay, that last one sounds a little goofy but the point is that I have dressed up and mingled with other people as a single woman. Even when things were at there worst, I never imagined being with another guy when I was with my ex-boyfriend.
Now I realize that I deserve so much better and there are more important things to focus on than relationships. For now.
Some other highlights include: going out to Orlando to meet up with my friend Jacq, celebrating Father's Day with my dad and getting to spend time with my sister and my adventures with Chunnie.
I think you are now up to date since the last time I posted.
Today I kept myself really busy. I worked Saturday and went to sleep pretty early so I inevitably woke up at 4am. I went for a jog, grocery shopping and then cleaned up the house a bit.
I felt a little restless today so sometime in the evening I went over to one of our local coffee shops for some of the best coffee in the world (it's up there with Vietnamese coffee).
I have been trying to watch my figure and exercise lately so I finally made some fruit infused water.
Not only does it look good, but it was surprisingly sweet and refreshing. I added fresh mint, strawberries and lemon slices.
This evening I have been thinking over what the next few weeks will look like before graduation.
I ordered my last few textbooks and sometime this week on my lunch break I'll need to call the school for graduation arrangements.
I'm going to start working Fridays since I'm almost finished with school so my week is going to be packed. The money is too good not to work on Saturdays and it is only for a few more weeks over the summer.
I feel busy and pretty content. This Friday is the Fourth of July and I'm not sure if I have plans exactly except for my sister coming up. My mom and I may go see a movie that weekend too.
The summer has made me incredibly reminiscent, I have to say. I think about this time last year and how in love I was with him. How happy I was to work all day and then drive to see him.
I think I know the feeling that one of my previous boyfriends had..after we broke up he called me quite a few times before trying to explain how well he'd done for himself after we broke up.
Of course I was happy for him but my feelings had moved on. It didn't matter how much he improved himself, I wasn't interested in him romantically anymore.
Well, the busier I get and the more I move up, the more I wish that he could see how good I'm doing for myself. How happy I am and how hard I am working. I want to show how amazing I am!
That's silly isn't it? It's just seeking validation from someone whom I lost respect for months ago. Logically that all makes sense but sometimes I wonder how he is doing and want to throw in his face how well I'm doing.
Ah, I'll get over those feelings eventually. They're much better than crying all night over empty promises and blurry memories, that's for sure. I'll take it.
ラベル: 2014, friends, graduation, life, university, work
Life is like a Book
POSTED ON: 2014年4月23日水曜日 @ 1:23 | 0 comments
The beautiful thing about life is the ability to write your own destiny. If you're unhappy with how your life is reading, then, flip the page and start writing again. As you read some chapters they may make you want to cry. Don't get stuck rereading the first couple chapters and decide to put the book down! Before you reach the end, there is always time for some meaningful revisions. Every good story is worth reading until the end and your story is no exception. The best is yet to come.
So, here is how I'll rewrite it for this summer:
I want to improve myself instead of trying to save someone else; I want to forgive and forget him.
I want to get fit and healthy.
I want to do well in all of my classes and graduate college.
I want to find work and start saving to teach abroad.
I want to take myself on a date to all my favorite places and to some new ones too.
I want to do well in all of my classes and graduate college.
I want to find work and start saving to teach abroad.
I want to take myself on a date to all my favorite places and to some new ones too.
I want to spend time with my family.
I want to make sure to enjoy the little things like-coffee in the morning with mom, sunsets and the beach.
I want to keep in contact and visit with my close friends.
ラベル: cats, coffee, Exams, friends, graduation, life, relationships, university
「Life Keeps Spinnin'」★
POSTED ON: 2014年4月7日月曜日 @ 14:43 | 2 comments
I haven't blogged in an extremely long time. Last semester? I think it has seriously been a long time and in these months, a lot has happened.
I guess I'll have to rewind everything a bit first.
Winter Break turned into a trip to Maryland with my dad to pick up my aunt's old car that she sold me for a great price. It's stick, so I still have to learn to drive it, in fact!
Over Winter Break there was some foreshadowing of things to come with my current ex-boyfriend. Things had felt weird for awhile. I was upset a lot, he was quite distant and there were often things that felt off. I swallowed it all down, he promised to make things better and I told him he had to or I needed to leave the relationship.
New Year's Eve turned out happier and more exciting than I could have imagined. I got my nails done and bought a new red dress for it. My sister, her boyfriend and my ex ended up meeting at this local bar near my house. Derek's mother's boyfriend was part of the live band playing and it was a lot of fun.
I hadn't seen my ex in awhile and it really felt wonderful to see him. The night was really great and the best New Year's Eve I've had to date.
Fast forward a little bit now..
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I began my first semester tutoring writing and I really enjoy it. Even on days when I'm tired or slightly upset, tutoring picks up my mood. It is another reason why I still want to pursue teaching.
This semester has flown by so quickly! In fact, there are only three weeks left of the semester. It's been eventful and I got to do a lot of things with friends. I spent more time with my Ex than I ever had and had a very romantic Valentine's Day.
My five classes have been going pretty smoothly. I learned about different beers and got a taste for whiskey that I didn't know I had.
I shared coffee and wine with my friends. I've read quite a few interesting novels and done well on all of my exams.
I also, however, got my heart broken pretty badly. All my suspicions and gut feelings were true. Despite the many times I tried to get my ex to talk with me about what was going on, he continued to lie to me.
It was an extremely necessary but painful thing to happen. I've spent a year trying really hard to make things work between us. Now, it's a complicated situation. If this was a Korean drama, I'd take my revenge and make him feel all the pain he's made me feel (then I'd probably get with his loyal and attractive best friend who was there the whole time but I somehow never noticed).
I got used to his indifference and it's made the healing process a lot easier. I think I've taken two things, especially, from this relationship:
1. Feelings aren't black and white, neither is the way that you should react after a break up2. Trust your instincts and walk away when they tell you to
Overall, I'm doing just fine and I'll be fine. One of the positive sides to everything is my lack of appetite lately. How is that positive do you say?
As my mom has always told me: "well, at least you'll lose a little weight after a break up."
That's actually a terrible thing to say but it's kinda funny and she's kinda right.
I always felt like I was playing with fire before but now I feel like I'm playing with a dying flame. It doesn't hurt nearly as much when it tries to burn me now and inevitably it will fade.
Over the weekend I saw The Grand Budapest Hotel. It was excellent and artistic. 
Today and tomorrow are going to take away tiny pieces of my soul but they will be productive!
Yesterday, I worked on my AML essay with Wrenn and Jennifer. In the evening, Jennifer and I went to Dunkin Donuts to just ramble on about life.
It was really nice and comforting too. I want to be cool like plastic about everything. I want to remember the stuff that made me happy before I threw all my energy into a relationship.
So, what's the agenda?
Today : Advising appointment at 15:30 to decide my fate. Do I have to return to FIU or can I take my final two classes at UCF in the Fall? Finishing my 5-page paper
Tuesday : 5-page draft due for my AML class! Dinner or a movie with a friend afterwards?
Later : Lots of reading and magic rituals so I do well on my INR exam this weekend.
Blogging is one of those things that made me quite happy. Expect more posts and happier updates!
ラベル: 2014, coffee, Exams, friends, homework, life, relationships, tutoring, university, work
Wait-an update!?
POSTED ON: 2013年11月18日月曜日 @ 1:08 | 1 comments
うわぁ～
久しぶりですね！
It's really been a long time! It's just a little past midnight and I had a pretty unproductive day.I have quite a bit on my mind though but nothing that's that particularly stressful.
I wanted to organize my schedule a bit for the next few weeks (man, this semester is almost over!)
This evening Jacqi and I went out to a restaurant called "Latin House."
It was fantastic and I was starving!
At the moment I'm a bit low on money so I've been pretty careful about what I'm spending. At the very least I know I'm going to shed a few pounds over these next few weeks! 〔笑〕
I've had a pretty good semester so far but it's been particularly trying and emotional. It pretty much boils down to a few problems or things that have eaten at my a bit this semester:
- Finances
- Workload
- Relationship Issues
- Family Issues
- Graduation Approaching
They're all worth concerning over but sometimes I really spiraled into a bad place dwelling over some of these things. It did me no good being so upset either. I thought taking time to myself or sleeping would help, but most of the time it just made me feel disappointed or restless. I don't feel regretful about falling into those feelings but I hope that I can learn from it for the next semester. I'm a person that doesn't like to be unhappy. It's not in my nature to be sad!
So, with that being said, there have been plenty of highlights this semester too! I've made some new friends and spent a lot of really great times with my close ones. Whether we're just having coffee, sitting around talking about how boring we are or drinking together, I'm so grateful for them. I truly have been blessed with amazing friends.
Saturday night I spent a good bit of time with James. It was really nice. I truly feel like he's trying to work on things. I can see it in some of his actions and it makes me feel less insecure. I really want things to work out, even if it's a crazy thing to think. I believe they will though.
ラベル: food, friends, goals, life, schedule, university, update!
「Fresh New Start」☆
POSTED ON: 2013年10月7日月曜日 @ 0:50 | 0 comments
The past two weeks have been really busy and tiring for me.
In fact, I can't believe how much has happened in the short time I've been back in school.
Is it really a lot? I don't know. Maybe I've just felt a lot of different things or thought so many different things since I started.
This past week it was my birthday and also a week of exams! However, I somehow made it through the exams and really didn't have to sacrifice too much.
I feel pretty good about all of them, except for my Japanese exam Monday.
This week made me realize that Japanese has been stressing me out quite a bit. I was doing fine in the class but I missed quite a few days and I dreaded going. All of my classes require so much attention, so I just thought I need to take out this problem.
I officially dropped it a few minutes ago. It was hard to do but no matter what, it's done now and I have to stick with my decision. Today or Wednesday I'm going to drop by my professor's office and give her a thank you card.
This past weekend was a little chaotic. I met up with Wrenn for a little and had some lunch after my exam on Saturday. Later in the evening I had some drinks and today I just felt very tired.
The older I get, the harder it is to recover from drinking I think. In any case, I think I'm good for quite awhile.
I spoke a lot with James on Saturday night. More and more things begun building up in my mind lately with him. All of these little things were really starting to hurt me.
I now feel, mostly relieved. I got everything out and said everything that was on my mind. It was difficult not to text him today, but I think we both needed the space after talking.
He's going to have an extremely busy week and I want him to do well. He spoke about maybe have dinner tonight so we'll see. At this point, it's okay, he can take his time and finish what he needs to.
This evening I have an exam, my final midterm exam! I want to complete a few pomodoros to prepare for the exam. I might do some laundry too.
I want to feel very confident about the exam tomorrow night.
So, this week is a real fresh start for me. I want to manage my time better and take a little more care of myself.
ラベル: classes, drinking, friends, life, relationships, studies, thoughts, university, お酒, 大学, 勉強, 友達
「First Month Down」☆
POSTED ON: 2013年9月27日金曜日 @ 0:39 | 0 comments
It's been awhile!~
ひさしぶりよね～
Fall semester has been very busy. Honestly, it's by far my busiest semester. It's been a pretty 50/50 balance of having a social life and studying like crazy.
I'm undoubtedly focusing and studying more than in the past. It feels good to be this busy after a somewhat unpredictable summer.
In the past five weeks did all that much really happen? It feels like it's going by too quickly~
I'm enjoying my classes for the most part. I constantly have assignments and reading to do though. My Dynamics of Asia class is very "seminar" style and we're assigned a lot of reading during the week.
My Processes of Writing class is constant writing and theory reading but it's overall a very calming class.
My Modern English Grammar class is quite tough! Honestly, I thought Linguistics had rewired my mind in the sense that I realized how difficult descriptive grammar is! Man, we really take for granted the built in knowledge of a language that we have.
Japanese is going well. I'm very aware, however, of my lack of speaking skills. It's not that I can't speak at all, but it's more broken than I thought. I can understand a lot but I am poor at speaking. This is something I really want to improve on this semester if time permits me!
Finally, my final math class. Oh yes, the thorn that has been stuck in my ass for the past four years. Logic is confusing but not scary. I think it's because actual "logic" is counter-intuitive to what we normally think. It's much more systematic then what most people think and against our "common sense." The class is huge but the professor is passionate about teaching.
I've gone through feeling waves of things over the past month. I think I've gone through a slight bout of depression but it's nothing serious. I'm always worrying about one thing or another.
Actual school work hasn't stressed me out so much yet.
I am allowing myself proper time to study or forcing myself to meet deadlines even when I'm feeling overwhelmed like I want to back out.
It's easy just going back to sleep or pushing the deadline away instead of racing the clock. It's really very easy to give up.
I spoke with my dad for a bit this evening. I'm surprised anyone is keeping their head above water back home. He has a way of handling very stressful situations and still sounding pretty happy.
He really seems to detach himself from everything when he talks with me and it always lifts my spirits. He was talking about going to visit my aunts in Maryland for winter break.
On Wednesday night I watched the two hour premiere of Law & Order SVU with Cindy. It was super exciting and I thought it was really cool that she had gotten into it with me.
I applied for various jobs across campus but in general I'm just doing a lot of praying. Praying for family stuff to calm down, praying for my own finances, praying for some of my friends..
There is a lot of jumbled stuff going on in my head.
However, tonight I still have a small pot of coffee, some sweet Italian creamer and I want to study a little.
Today is going to be relatively busy. Classes, JLA and studying for next weeks exams.
I'd like to go for a run this morning but my feet are in pretty bad shape and it's late.
ラベル: goals, life, money, plans, thoughts, university
「Do It!」★
POSTED ON: 2013年8月14日水曜日 @ 5:29 | 1 comments
おはようございます！
Yesterday was a little busy. My dad got discharged from the hospital so my sister and I went to visit with him.
My aunt came down from Tampa so we also had the chance to visit a little with her too. She made up two very large bags of stuff for me to take back down to FIU. It was extremely thoughtful of her!
My dad looked pretty wiped out and a little embarrassed. The import part however, is that as long as he maintains a healthy lifestyle he should be fine. He is pretty weak right now though.
He had suddenly asked me to mow the lawn for him because my step-mom was insisting that she would and she's really not in the physical condition to do it either. I couldn't and wouldn't have argued anyways. It was really hot and I forgot how much it sucked to mow the lawn but I am very glad I could do something for him.
We had a little lunch and then later on my step-mom took me up to the shopping plaza. She wanted to find a French Press and I wanted to look at clothes. In the end I may have overspent just a little..but I bought some really cute shirts and blouses!
She bought me a French Press and this morning I gave it a whirl but I definitely need some practice before I break it out to the world.
Today I'm doing work for Pat in the backyard and cleaning in her sister's home. It's going to be a long day for sure! Thursday, Friday and Saturday I am also going to be working. It's going to be a long week, I just want to speed up everything!
Since my dad needs to rest up, I'm going to try and work a little next week too. I need to save up and do what I can before I go back down to school.
So, I felt pretty drained and overwhelmed last night but this morning I feel powerful! (Is that the coffee talking?)
がんばりますね！
ラベル: clothes, dad, family, goals, health, life, shopping, summer break, thoughts, university, work
「Plans」★
POSTED ON: 2013年8月11日日曜日 @ 0:20 | 0 comments
こんにちは～
Yesterday went pretty smoothly.
I worked for a few hours then came home and rested.
My mom and I decided to go out to eat but we didn't end up going until later.
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We ended up going to TGIF and she treated us which was really nice. We don't usually have the money or the time to all get together like that, so it was refreshing.
I felt a lot more yesterday about everything going out.
It's been awhile since I've been home on a Saturday night so I thought I might get a little bummed out. Of course, I really wanted to go see 好きな人 sometime soon.
Instead, にし and I decided to watch the Twilight Zone! She's such a cutie pie just sitting behind my laptop on the desk.
She is such a sassy cat! Anyways, I've been pretty relaxed so far and I'm happy for it.
I didn't even get upset when 好きな人 texted me late and said he'd be working through the week. That leaves pretty much no time to see him before school starts but at the same time it's a relief.
I can make plans to work more this week and completely focus on getting stuff ready for school.
Of course I worry about him though. He has pretty long days and I think he's overdoing it a little but I do understand. I just don't feel as affected as I thought I'd be.
It's definitely a good thing though. I'll just have to go with the flow and I think being understanding will pay off.
So! Later today I am going to do a little shopping for some school supplies. I'd like to get up at a decent time and even take a jog (though I always say that!)
Hopefully everything will go smoothly with my father too. That's definitely on my mind. At this point I am ready to start up classes again and get into a normal routine.
I know I am going to miss being at home but I need to get a move on too.
This semester should bring a lot of interesting opportunities I think!
ラベル: exercise, family, friends, goals, life, plans, relationships, summer break
「がまん」☆
POSTED ON: 2013年8月10日土曜日 @ 1:59 | 0 comments
I'm just going to post a small update for this morning.
Actually, I should be asleep!
So, the past few weeks have been a little rough. I usually like to blog about the happy stuff with a lot of photos and something new to talk about.
I have a little over two weeks left until school begins and I feel like so much has been happening!
I've spent some time in Orlando, I've worked a little and there have been quite a few problems at home.
I feel like my money just comes and goes so quickly. It's partially my fault, partially responsibilities at home to help out my family.
I feel stuck in the middle sometimes and a little helpless.
This week I was supposed to work a little with Pat but it kept getting cancelled which had me sitting around a lot and thinking!
On Wednesday I had promised my mother's friend to go to our small water park here. She had free tickets and it was her birthday. I had a pretty good time and I didn't really burn at all which is great!
Thursday work was cancelled again so I stayed inside and cleaned up the house. Yesterday I stayed around the house as well and slept.
Staying inside so much really started taking a toll on me. I wanted to eat more and just sleep. I feel very thoughtful and kind of irritable.
So, I tried to make a couple plans but they didn't end up working out. Instead I went for a jog to clear my head. In the end, that was the best decision. I felt a lot more relieved and less irritated.
I realize it really bothers me when I don't have something to focus on, especially when there's a lot of difficult stuff going on.
So, for the last two weeks I'm going to try to keep as busy as possible (even on days when I don't work or clean). I have to keep my mind preoccupied.
I got a little over 4 miles in today and kept going until my leg hurt. It was really beautiful out!
I have a bit of a schedule for the next two weeks already. My top priority is fitting in as much work as possible.
I'm trying to prioritize and think of these things first. I really wish I would have saved up more this summer..but, I had fun.
Tonight I'll be using my worry dolls though. So much stuff going on. I know it will all clear up.
Saturday 08/10 - Cleaning Job $100
Sunday 08/11 - Exercise, Relax and maybe pick up some school stuff
Monday 08/12 - Work with Pat, exercise $80
Tuesday 08/13 - Work with Pat? (exercise in the morning)
Wednesday 08/14 - Money comes in, school shopping
Thursday 08/15 - Work with Deb $100
Friday 08/16 - Work with Deb $100
Saturday 08/17 - Cleaning Job $100
Sunday 08/18 - Wednesday 08/21 - Fort Pierce Trip
Thursday 08/22 - Organize Everything, Shop, Spend Time with Family
Friday 08/23 - Organize Everything, Go to Dad's House
Saturday 08/24 - Move into the New Dorm
Monday 08/26 - School Begins! Ahhh!
ラベル: family, fitness, friends, goals, lazy, life, money, relationship, thoughts, work
「Let's Wait and See」☆
POSTED ON: 2013年7月29日月曜日 @ 0:28 | 0 comments
こんにちは！
最近、よく私の問題を考えていてちょっと悲しいです。
水曜日仕事終わるあとでクラブに行きました。
水曜日仕事終わるあとでクラブに行きました。
妹と妹の彼氏と友達に会って、ちょう楽しかったけど。。
金曜日ジョギングをして、好きな人について考えていました。
最近、よく彼について考えている時ちょっと寂しくなりました。この気持ちが大嫌いですけど、どうしようかな。。
「彼はあたしがほんまに好きなんとかあほかの女の人と話すとか彼はあたしのこと思っていますか？」
ああ、めんどくさい思考。。
I finally couldn't stand it and confronted him about it. He seemed really oblivious at first but apologized. It still made me upset, but it was a bit of a relief.
彼は「ええ？もちろんあたしのことと思っていて、それにびっくりプレゼントを買ったあげる」と言いました。
土曜日仕事に午前９時から午後３時まででした。
仕事終わるあとで彼に会って、レストランで飲みに行きました。
I became upset for a little while, but eventually we talked things out. I feel more relieved now and a little less insecure but..I'm still a little worried. I'm happy I got to see what was on my mind though!
I ended up staying the night and leaving early in the morning when he left for work. Honestly, it's so nice having someone by your side at night.
I always sleep well with him..
今日は休みです。
安心です。
たくさん寝たり、せんたくしたりしました。
I've also been thinking a lot about my future. I'm starting to get into the university mindset again and trying to budget a little. If I'm careful I should be alright.
I looked into the amount of money I would need to spend on textbooks this semester too...it is about $300.00 alone!
But...it will all work alright.
I need to start gathering supplies though so I'm going to start working on that slowly. I also applied for two jobs on campus and when I return to school I am going to try really hard to find something! I absolutely have to.
明日新しい仕事があります。きんちょうしていますよ！
The lady I do yard work for recommended me to her parent's next door neighbor because she was looking for someone to clean her house.
I'm a bit nervous because I don't know what she expects from me yet and I haven't met her in person. I know I'm more than capable, I'm just not used to cleaning completely solo.
But, I'll do my best and I know things will be fine!
On Tuesday I might hang out with チョン二 and another friend. Wednesday I am going to try to work and Saturday I will definitely work again.
Next week I'll be going out of town for a few days to visit my aunt.
Overall, I'm going to try to work as much as possible and start gathering up supplies.
がんばりますね！
最近、よく彼について考えている時ちょっと寂しくなりました。この気持ちが大嫌いですけど、どうしようかな。。
「彼はあたしがほんまに好きなんとかあほかの女の人と話すとか彼はあたしのこと思っていますか？」
ああ、めんどくさい思考。。
I finally couldn't stand it and confronted him about it. He seemed really oblivious at first but apologized. It still made me upset, but it was a bit of a relief.
彼は「ええ？もちろんあたしのことと思っていて、それにびっくりプレゼントを買ったあげる」と言いました。
土曜日仕事に午前９時から午後３時まででした。
仕事終わるあとで彼に会って、レストランで飲みに行きました。
I became upset for a little while, but eventually we talked things out. I feel more relieved now and a little less insecure but..I'm still a little worried. I'm happy I got to see what was on my mind though!
可愛いプレゼント！%E2%94%9B_m+(1).gif)
I ended up staying the night and leaving early in the morning when he left for work. Honestly, it's so nice having someone by your side at night.
I always sleep well with him..今日は休みです。
安心です。
たくさん寝たり、せんたくしたりしました。
I've also been thinking a lot about my future. I'm starting to get into the university mindset again and trying to budget a little. If I'm careful I should be alright.
I looked into the amount of money I would need to spend on textbooks this semester too...it is about $300.00 alone!
But...it will all work alright.
I need to start gathering supplies though so I'm going to start working on that slowly. I also applied for two jobs on campus and when I return to school I am going to try really hard to find something! I absolutely have to.
明日新しい仕事があります。きんちょうしていますよ！
The lady I do yard work for recommended me to her parent's next door neighbor because she was looking for someone to clean her house.
I'm a bit nervous because I don't know what she expects from me yet and I haven't met her in person. I know I'm more than capable, I'm just not used to cleaning completely solo.
But, I'll do my best and I know things will be fine!
On Tuesday I might hang out with チョン二 and another friend. Wednesday I am going to try to work and Saturday I will definitely work again.
Next week I'll be going out of town for a few days to visit my aunt.
Overall, I'm going to try to work as much as possible and start gathering up supplies.
がんばりますね！
ラベル: drinking, friends, relationships, summer break, thoughts, university, work, お酒, バイト, 夏休み, 仕事, 大学, 友達
